Not one, not two but three! And it’s not even a week! And you know what, this time, I feel different. I am very determined NOT TO WASTE the rewards, the gifts, the promises!! I want! Everything also I want, in true Singapore-kiasu style…

Ah yes.. it is tiring. Very tiring. Less than enough sleep and rest. And to top of it, the past few days, the elder’s down with fever. Throughout the nights, I transformed to SPONGEBOB MUM. No joke. In addition, what’s with Pau2? He now insists on falling asleep with his BODY on my UPPER TORSO! No joke again. He climbs over me and let his entire weight rest there.

There we are, all four, in one queen-size bed, two fans blowing and approximately 5 pillows and 2 bolsters. Plus about 5 tiny toy cars. No joke one more time.

This is life, dude …

* I dropped 3 kg, since fasting on Sun, 24 Sept. From 59kg to 56kg on 27 Sept. Watch out, you red kebaya you!

Five years ago today was the last time ever I saw him. He couldn’t even open his eyes – the pain was that excruciating. But towards the very end, he remained very strong. Not a single – I repeat, SINGLE – sound escaped his clenched mouth. His body, though, betrayed his emotions. It swung from right to left, and vice versa, wriggling in the intense pain only I can imagine.

I never stop to marvel at his courage – even to this very day. His determination, his tenderness towards his wife, his commitment to his family and his unfailing humbleness towards his Maker. He went on on his life journey without a complaint – never, in my 33 years have I ever heard him utter a single displeasure towards what life had meted out to him. His patience – oh! How do I begin? – was exemplary. I’ve never met anyone with such quiet bravery – that is, until Hubs came into my life.

I wish Hubs would have known him the way I did. And I know he would simply adore Hubs, I knew he would.

Today, and especially today, I asked God to be as kind to him as he was to me, to forgive him for all small and big sins he may have committed in his lifetime and to place him by His side.

When he finally drew his last earthy breathe, I knew instantly – do not ask me how, I just knew – his place in God’s heaven is secured. If there is any living saint left in this world, he would be it.

He was simply my hero. He left an impression on me so great, my first published fiction is about him. It’s all about BAPAK.

May Allah be with you…
Haji Kasnan Karto
1913 – 16 September 2001