I just spoke to someone just now.

She is leaving for Down Under tomorrow for a week-long (or more) to visit the husband’s family. I enquired if she was excited. But before I got her answer, seeing that she was half submerged in work (could hardly see the top of her desk), I answered: Too busy to get excited, huh?

She looked at me with soulful eyes and commented that she would rather be elsewhere BUT Aussie next week. She said she would be staying at her husband’s relatives’ house and that it was hardly private. She has no children. She will be amongst people she hardly knew, at a place she is almost foreign to.

I told her, better to get stuck in a foreign land with no kids. Then your misery may be doubled. She said, if she has kids, at least she can entertain her kids to distract herself.

She has her point.

She did suggest to her husband that he should precede for this family visit without her, since she is really tied up with work. But that suggestion had made her husband unhappy so she had no choice but to proceed along with him.

Why? To make him happy.

I smiled. I know exactly what she meant.

In marriage, often you have to live a life NOT for yourself only, but for your other half. When you merge as one with your partner, you inherit his everything, and that includes the various families and relatives and other assortments. There may be things that you do not like or do not understand or simply because you were not brought up with the same principle, and thus cannot tolerate. But what can you do?  

To that babelicious friend of mine, I know the week ahead at Down Under will just breeze by. Such an optimistic babe, nothing can bring her down!

Good Day’ Mate!

Happened 3 minutes ago while I was lost in the midst of Protocol Amendments and Approval Letters.

The phone rang. 11.15 am.

“Ti, apa tu ‘BODY CAT’?”

Pause.

“Dia nak BODY CAT. Aku tak tahu apa tu BODY CAT. Cari dalam beg dia, takde pun. Terus dia bedalnya aku!’

Now.. that’s the typical conversation between me and my babysitter, in regards to my youngest boy, the cutest and most aggressive Pau2.

A quick but hopefully comprehensive check with Imin, a BODY CAT was apparently something Pau2 wore while he was in school earlier just now. Probably a game they were playing in school and for some reason, it was not put inside his bag – I do not even know whether that was supposed to be the case here.

Anyways, I am glad to report, my babysitter was unhurt.

The year 2007 marks the 10^th year I’ve known Hubs. And today, 30 March 07, is the 5^th year I and him have joined together in matrimony harmony. Five years ago, at 11 am, Hubs took the solemnization vow to forever bind him to me. Poor chap. Love is REALLY blind, they say.

To Hubs – thanks for tolerating my nonsense and whimsical moods for the past decade and for standing by me for the past 5. It’s been a journey of indescribable depth of knowing and understanding my own self, thanks to your mountainous patience and kindness and selfless thoughts. Definitely a journey I have enjoyed tremendously and will not hesitate to trod on further and deeper.

Thank you for being such a great husband, a loving father and a great companion.

And how should we celebrate this?

By working, of course .. sigh.

*Today is also Rasul's Birthday - 12 Rabiulawal.

I do not know if this is common knowledge, but there’s something that I once read somewhere, or maybe I heard it when I was attending a course of some sorts. Anyways, here’s what stuck in my mind and I like to quote it often:

1. If you want to make a routine out of something, you must do it CONSISTENTLY and WITHOUT ANY BREAK in 21 days. That activity will then fall into a routine in your lifestyle.

Interesting, isn’t it? Imagine, if you can afford to take time off to work on something and keep on doing it over a period of 21 days, without breaking the pattern, that activity will eventually fall in nicely in your lifestyle or you could it doing it without even thinking about it. Examples would be driving, praying, exercising etc. Or, like me, trying to write a book. And I really mean, TRYING …

Yes, I am trying. Really trying. To go back to basics. To revert back to the time where I could easily sit down for hours and let my fingers do the talking (aka typing) on the keyboard without any interruptions. Those days, I was on my own. Time was on my side and only for me. I could sit down and finish a short story in one single night.

These days, with added occupation like mother and part time housewife, cleaner, cooker, playmate, wife etc.. well, time is too precious.

But keyword – trying. But did I say I want to write a book? Ok let’s not start getting ambitious here. Let’s say, I am trying to get back to writing short stories seriously again.

Now, on to the other thing that is stuck to my mind and this too, I like to quote often (to whoever bothers to listen):

2. If PERFECTION is what you are seeking, you should practice doing the activity 3 times a day for 21 days WITHOUT A BREAK.

Ahh … I remembered very clearly when I first heard about this. At that time, I was taking at-that-time-seemingly-endless driving lessons. I’m sure for those who are taking their lessons, at one point, they would be thinking, as I often did, when would all these come to an end? Last year, before I obtained my coveted piece of plastic that allows me to cruise the road, each time I walked to Kampung Ubu Driving School and each time I checked my name against which car would I be driving next, I often wonder – when would the day come when I no longer need to step into this school and not have to look out for my name on the board.

That moment came on Friday, 29 December 2006.

Anyways, yes, before that day, the many many lessons I had seemed to be million and million lessons. And the cost. Wow. I am so glad to be put all those behind me now. Each time now as I pass by the school (on my way home to my Buangkok Residence), I will often look to the school and look at the test cars inside – some queuing up to try out the vertical parking, parallel parking, slope, S course, crank course etc. I am so very glad, I have to mention again here so that you would know how immensely glad am I to finally obtain my license, that those days are finally over for me.

Yippee!!

Ok now, back to the two things that I want to share here. Yes, those are the theories that I always remember. I do not know if these theories hold any truth. Or that it all depends on individual’s abilities and capabilities. In any case, here I am trying out Item no. 1.

As I said – the keyword here is trying.

Back during those days when I was a SAHM, I was privileged to catch talkshows on the google box. Not one, not two but three talkshows in one day. And all on one channel. Mediacorp, if you are listening – come on now, surely 3 talkshows in one day is just a bit too much, no? Granted, these talkshows differ in their hosts and content, but up to 3? And if you happen to have the urge to watch television during the zombie hours, you will notice that these talkshows make their appearance again during those hours.

Mediacorp – HELLO! Wake up lah!

Ok now, let’s dissect those that I have managed to catch. Please note that these were the days in January 07 when I was playing real mother to my boys.

In the mornings, we have Tyra Banks, the model. At noon, we have Martha Stewart, the urm.. what can I call her? The home lifestyle guru? Evening, we have Ellen DeGeneres.

I am very certain these three individuals do not need detailed introduction but for the benefit of those who have just come out from their shell, here’s a simple breakdown:-

TYRA BANKS A former model who was well-known now for her success in The Next America Top Model Show. Hey, did I get the title right? Now I am not so sure, because I never – never did – catch a single episode of that show. I only know from what little I saw on the trailers and from what I read in magazines like 8 Days. Anyways, this show was something like my favourite show – The Apprentice. The season started with a number of model hopefuls and at each episode, one will be eliminated. The last one standing would then be declared the Next America Top Model. I think it went something like that. So, Tyra was the founder.

MARTHA STEWART Need even less intro. She’s a household name, and I mean that literally. From cooking to choosing the best quilt for your bedsheets, Martha’s the expert. And she has been since I was still in secondary school. Most recently, she was known for doing time for insider trading. I think her sentence was like 5 or 7 months. Hmm.. I think. Not too sure. You may want to surf the net for more info of her sentencing – I’m sure there’s aplenty. Martha also runs the side show of The Apprentice with Martha Stewart. Same concept as the genuine Apprentice, but hey, if it is not Donald, I’m not watching.

ELLEN DEGENERES I first heard of Ellen when I was in secondary school. I came from an all-girls Christian school – a mission school, to be exact – and when you come from an all-girls school like that, you would naturally meet up with one species known popularly as BUTCHERS. I am not going to dwell more on this, but if you know BUTCHERS, you know ELLEN DEGENERES.

Ok now, let’s go back to their talkshows.

TYRA BANKS TALKSHOW
Personally, I do not find Tyra particularly drop dead model-gorgeous. She’s an OK, but compared to raven model beauties like Liz Hurley, Cindy Crawford and the likes, to me, she’s worlds apart. Granted, she has the skin and body but haven’t you heard of digital retouching? Being an expert in the field once upon a time ago, I know the works that went behind each cover page of most popular fashion magazines.

So now, I managed to catch Tyra’s talkshow. I do not recall the title of the show but naturally, the contents are all about fashion and fashion. One time, she would interview an expert in skin, and the other, an expert in body contouring. Of course, often she would be talking to top names in fashion and cosmetics.

There’s one episode whereby it was a special on lingerie. I think the gist was how to choose the lingerie that was suitable for your body type. So you know what she did? Moments after she walked in on the set, she totally discarded her clothes and stood around in her undergarments! And GASP! The entire audience followed suit. Everyone, and I mean, ALL, stripped to their bras and knickers, and stood around flaunting what extra (fats) they had without a slight hint of embarrassment! Oh my!

(For the record, a few weeks later, 8 Days BRAVO-ed that move, saying that it was refreshing and courageous. I beg to differ. I call it humiliating and revolting.)

Eventually, as the show progressed, some were covered in bathrobes, as like Tyra. Naturally, I did not watch till the end. Three things – 1) I do not usually enjoy Tyra’s shows 2) I find all those half naked people disgusting 3) I had to vacuum the house before the boys came back from school.

I did, however, learnt a few things from Tyra’s shows. One episode, she was with an expert on hair. This hair expert was dispensing advices like it was the IN thing now that if you have to tie your hair, you must tie it as close as possible to the nape of your neck. Too high on the head makes you look like an old spinster, and if you tie it in the center, you do not look more elegant than the girl who is going to the gym for a workout. So, if you want to appear elegant with a ponytail, do it at the nape of the neck.

Of course, all these are not relevant to me. I have my tudung, thank you very much. Elegancy confirmed 24/7, for those who understand.

At one time, Tyra had an expert on the show. I cannot recall what the field of expertise is, but I remembered one thing – women are advised to sleep more in the nude. I think she used the word COMMANDO. Something like SLEEP IN THE COMMANDO. I think so. I think that’s an American slang for sleeping in the nude.

Let’s give Tyra some credit. On her shows, she also highlighted eating disorders and one time, she had an anorexia sufferer on the set. The poor girl – the anorexic, not Tyra – had a very low self confidence and Tyra tried to tell her otherwise by bringing in experts to explain the psychology behind the eating disorder condition and even had a real life cardboard to show the poor girl on how she really looked to others.

Other times, Tyra had brought together a couple who were separated for a very long time.

So yeah, to conclude, Tyra’s shows are not only about fashion and the likes – she would try to bring in some humanities issues. This is just my take, from my watching the talkshow for a better part of the hour that it was running in. Alas, I’d never get an opportunity (nor do I really want to) to watch from A till Z.

MARTHA STEWART
Martha has a magazine called LIVING and on her talkshow, this is like LIVING coming right out on your google box. The first episode, which I accidentally tuned it while fiddling with the remote, had her showing off some kind of an ankle bracelet – you know, the type that criminals wear so that their whereabouts are detected. And in support of Martha’s predicament (I assume this episode was being taped while she was out on parole), her entire crew had the exact ankle bracelets. I like the humorous take that Martha took (ha ha never thought I could use TAKE and TOOK in one sentence!) on her circumstances.

Martha’s audience is obviously those who are smitten with her LONG before her time in jail. These are die-hard fans. You know why? Because, really, what she did on her show was usually a duplicate in her mag. I mean, why would you want to buy a mag AND watch the same contents AGAIN?

Martha would do one thing and then she would flip to a page in her mag and said: ‘If you want more info, look at page XX of the LIVING magazine.’

Duh.

As a host, I do not like Martha. She likes to interrupt her guests. And very often too. Usually, she and her guest would be doing something similar simultaneously, like arranging flowers. They would be starting at the same thing and while they are working on each arrangement, Martha would turn to her guest and say something like: ‘So tell me, what have you been up to?’ This is to fill in the vacuum while both of them were doing the EXACT same thing (but of course, if the other is an expert, the results would be as different as earth and moon). And so the guest would rattle: ‘Oh! I’ve been busy singing/acting and my next movie/album would be out …’ ZAPPP! Martha would interrupt here because it was at that precise moment that she had to put in a long stem and she had to let the audience know why the stem had to be placed at the back of the arrangement and not the front. Martha would go: ‘So you put this thing here and there you would have the composition just right’. Just like that. As if the guest hadn’t spoken. I do wonder why on earth anyone would want to be on that show with her.

Martha’s a big supporter of the help for the Hurricane Katrina victims. In any chance that she can get, she will ask donations for the Katrina victims. Say, for example, when a guest was talking about a new reality program (I think that program was called I WISH), Martha had to ask: ‘So what are you doing about the Katrina victims?’

In almost each episode, you will get to see the effects of the Hurricane Katrina as Martha would flash the before and after photos of once-beautiful homes.

However, Martha’s guests are often those that I would know of. Unlike Tyra’s, whose guests are habitually from the fashion industry (an area where obviously I know nothing of), her guests are from all walks of life. Once, she even had Donald Trump! But I missed out on that one, as I had to nurse Pau2 at that time. Nurse meaning take care. And I had to do it at Bedok, so I did not have easy access to English channels.

There’s one episode where Martha gathered a full studio of audience whose names were Martha Stewart. ALL OF THEM. I think it was about 62 people. Of course there were a lot more when the real Martha embarked on the search for all the Martha Stewarts in the States, but only the lucky handfuls got to be on the show. That was a fun episode to watch. At one point, she had few couples of Martha Stewarts and their other halfs, who equally had ‘popular names’. For example, there’s a Martha Stewart and her husband, Rod Stewart.  

From what I’ve watched, lots of people admire Martha. It could be that she has been a household name since dino years. But Martha had poor coordination - one time her show flashed an image of something and Martha, not realizing it was already flashed, called out loudly to the technician or tv crew or whatever to flash it. There was a voice heard: ‘It was already on.’ Martha recovered quickly and laughed it off, saying: ‘Oh I didn’t realize that.’ What blunder.

Often, I notice that when Martha says something and immediately after that, the next shot would be an image or scene of what she had said earlier, the vacuum in between was too long and almost embarrassing. She would be standing there grinning stupidly while the camera would be taking its own time to switch from one scene to another.

Oh Martha, go get a better crew, will you?

ELLEN DEGENERES TALKSHOW
I think her show was simply called ELLEN. You would often see Ellen jumping and hopping around on her stage. Remember what I said about BUTCHERS and Ellen, well, each time the camera panned to the audience, I couldn’t help but try to seek out the BUTCHERS out there.

Ellen’s a funny person. I almost smile during her talkshows. Granted, she’s funny. Her talkshow is aired late evening and I very seldom manage to catch it. And if I do, it would be like a few minutes or at the most, 15 minutes.

Now that I am here, I realize that I can’t really talk much about Ellen. I do not really know what to say about her talkshow, because I never really catch it. But the times that I managed to, I was entertained by her funny antics. Those episodes that I watch, her guests included Kevin Federline, Britney’s x husband (I hope I get that name right). Ellen was alright towards her guests. Unlike Martha, she does not interrupt her guests and let them talk till they finish.

But let me say one thing here – with Tyra and sometimes Martha, I would usually look out for their wardrobe. Tyra especially. Being a former model, she would dress up in the latest must-have and oh! those shoes! Those killer heels! Martha’s a grandmother, so she’s a little jaded but can be pretty smart. But Ellen? Oh boy… LITERALLY on BOY!

Spice up your wardrobe, will you, Ellen?

So there, my takes on the talkshows. Of course, now I do not get that privilege anymore.

Oh yes.. previously I managed to catch Oprah’s. Those few episodes, those were good. Hubs liked to watch them. Are these coming back. Mediacorp, since you are so big on talkshows?

The other day, on the MRT, while both of us were reading our free copy of TODAY, Hubs nudged and showed me a page where there was an advertisement calling for admission to a Master program on IT Management by NUS. It was a five years full time program and its syllabus or modules are quite relevant to what Hubs is doing currently. Being an NUS degree IT graduate, Hubs is eligible for the course.

But it being a full time programme and 5 years at that, well.. that’s a different story now. I urged Hubs to ask the school for the possibility of doing it part time. He simply nodded.

Then I sat back and reflected. Should there be a part time course, would I be ready to ‘let him off’? I mean, as I said, I depend a lot on Hubs now. They say, a man and a woman, upon marriage, are sometimes known as the other half of one. This is very true, in my case. Hubs IS LITERALLY my other half. He’s the right side of my everything. If he has to take time off to pursue his dreams, would I be able to let him go and proceed on on ONE side only? I twitched.

Yes, I love Hubs. Love him to bits and pieces. So yes, if that’s what he really wanted, so yes, so be it. Go ahead, love, do it. Do it because you want to. Do it because I am here to care for the household and children so that you do not have to bother with those anymore. Ah.. me the perfect wife.

I once had a friend whose husband worked full time and studied part time for a degree programme. Now, you must understand, men are not like women. Women are gifted by God to be multitaskers but men are programmed to concentrate on one thing at one time. Only ONE thing at ONE time. So, yes, I had this friend who was a very good and dutiful wife. She is a full time mother, with 3 young children, and she runs her household without any domestic help. I know she loved her husband and being the supportive wife she was, and has always been, she would always make ways for the hubby to study at home in peace and quiet. And what the husband used to do, she had to take over. For example, during weekends, her husband would usually give her time off while he took care of the children and the chores, eg cooking, washing etc. But not anymore when he was pursuing his degree. What free time he had, he crammed up with his studies. Naturally this involved weekends and family time together. After running the household and managing the children 5 days a week, she was now forced to bring them out on her own during weekends as the husband needed to mug. Either that, or the husband would go out to mug and she would stay home. But she preferred having the husband home to mug (hey even I would!). With young children at home, it was almost impossible to mug and so she was forced to bring them out each weekend. Oh the sacrifices she had to make! Finally the day came when the husband obtained his degree and they lived happily ever after.

I remembered this friend when I was reflecting. And I remembered that if Hubs was meant to further his studies, his would be a Masters, not a degree. Would the sacrifice be greater? Gulp.

So, during the course of the day, I was actually waiting for Hubs to update me on the part time status. By afternoon, when he didn’t, I nudged him on MSN and asked if he had called the school. Seriously, I was very tempted to call the school on his behalf – but I was simply drowning in work.

Hubs said he did and unfortunately, there’s no part time course for this programme for the present. Sigh.. what a pity. Already I was mentally prepared for the sacrifices. Part of me was relieved and the other disappointed. Disappointed because I know Hubs wanted to take up the programme and that I know, it would be good for him in the long run.

I guess God is telling us it is not time yet.

I was already trembling with laughter!

*It's long, black in colour and it is furry. What is it?!

Phew! All these hardwork for the past few months since last year was worth it after all.